Overcoming Love

Overcoming Love
Week 3; Day5 Friday

“The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (I Peter 4:7-8)

I bet you didn’t know that Peter told us to live like we were dying. Here is what he said about it: Because the end of things is near,

1. Be ready to pray,

2. Love deeper, and

3. Love in such a way as to overcome the barriers to love.

Are you surprised that he put prayer at the top? If you knew the end was near, prayer would seem like a natural thing. You would want to get connected with where you were going. Prayer is eternal. So daily be in a spirit where prayer is a breath away. And you would want to love those around you deeply, because love gives life meaning and connects you to those who are most precious to you. Love is of God and lasts forever. When we get to Heaven we will love everybody, so we might as well get started now. You would also want to love because love overcomes the barriers that keep us from each other. It covers over a multitude of sins.

Sin separates us- our sins against others, their sins against us. We let each other down. We belittle, judge, gossip, and otherwise destroy one another. But love is so powerful; it can overcome all of that. It covers it over. It buries it. This is not even forgiveness. It is God’s love working through us- a love so great that it can overlook offenses.

There are a lot of things that love does. I Corinthians 13 lists many outward expressions. Peter has chosen one aspect of love particularly applicable to the shortness of time. When time is short, you want to set things straight. You don’t want to leave this life with unresolved hatred in your heart towards somebody. When my father died, he had everything already taken care of right down to the flowers on the casket. He was meticulous about this. He made sure all his affairs were in order.

In the same way, when you live like you were dying, you want to have all your relationships straightened out and in order, at least on your end. We have no control over how others feel about us, but we can love them, and do so enough to absorb however they have harmed us or offended us. Love makes up for all offenses.

“Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over wrongs.” (Proverbs 10:12)

1. Is there a relationship where you need to apply this kind of love? Is there a reason why you can’t love this way? Ask God to help you. He is the author of this love.
2. Covering over wrongs done to us means we have to let go of them. This can be difficult because it means letting go of our pride, but we need to do it. Pray for God’s ability to truly forgive those who have wronged you.
3. Spend a few moments right now thanking God that his love has covered over all you sins.

Risky Love

Risky Love
Week 3; Day4 Thursday

She would go to church if she felt like she would be accepted, but here sense of shame keeps her back. She’s gotten as close to the parking lot, but cannot gather enough courage to get out of her car. How will she explain this aborted trip to three anxious kids after talking them into coming? She doesn’t know, but she decides that it will be easier than explaining why she doesn’t have a husband to all those happy Christian families she supposes are inside.

Then the memories of the church women’s retreat someone convinced her to attend come rushing back to her. All of the teaching and discussion had been about marriage. Most of the jokes were about everyone’s husbands stuck at home with the kids. She did not find this funny. She would have taken any of their husbands for even a day of relief and role modeling for her fatherless sons. A new relationship with one of these women would have made the weekend worthwhile, but no one sought her out or made any attempt to follow up. They were all too caught up in the similarities of their own lives and shared experiences.

Unfortunately, this is a scene played out in all too many churches that have not learned how to care for those at risk in their body. Jesus said, “If you love only those who love you, what good is that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.” (Matthew 5:46-47 NLT). Or to put it another way: If you only love those who are just like you, you are acting like a country club and not a church.

One of the surest ways love can be recognized in the body of Christ is the degree to which love is extended towards those who may not be able to give anything back, at least not right away. Many of these people stay away due to guilt and a sense of condemnation. The initial challenge is to help them know they are welcome.

One way to do this is through acts of kindness or love in action, such as advertising free services to single moms (or whatever group you might agree to target)- car tune-ups, house repair, yard work, baby-sitting- no questions asked. It’s all about being sensitive to those outside our norm. We picked single moms so we could go a little deeper with this, but the same applies to pregnant girls, the physically and mentally challenged, kids on drugs, single dads, seniors living alone, recovering addicts, and the list goes on. This is both risky love (outside of our comfort zone) and loving those at risk. The hope is that new and accepting relationships can naturally flow out of these acts of kindness so that some of these people will get father than just the parking lot.

It’s time to love deeper. That deeper love will be risky, but only then will it get beyond what tax collectors and pagans do.

Roses On Wednesday

Roses On Wednesday
Week 3; Day3 Wednesday

The first roses came on Wednesday when Horton came back into Edna’s life after leaving for a season. He showed up at her doorstep with a dozen roses and his issues resolved, and in her words, “We embraced, and it was all over.”

So began the story of a remarkable marriage- average perhaps to most who knew them casually, but remarkable to anyone privileged to get a closer look. For what one found on the inside observing this couple even after 40+ years of marriage was a man supremely delighted with his wife, and a woman supremely happy in the love of her husband. Had this couple found out they had only one more day together, I honestly don’t think much would have changed because they were already living love for each other to the limit.

When I asked Horton if there was a secret to their relationship, he told me the story that has come to be known in my house as “Roses on Wednesday.” You see the roses weren’t only for that first Wednesday. They would continue to come every Wednesday for the rest of their lives together.

When it became clear that there was something special about Wednesdays, Edna asked him why. He told her that Wednesday with her was not just a day to you one day closer to the weekend; it was simply, a phenomenal day.

King Solomon gave us a similar piece of advice. “Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth.” (Proverbs 5:18 NLT).

Horton’s secret was to take an ordinary day and use it to express extraordinary love. And, likewise, Proverbs 5 says that we husbands have a choice to see and treat our wives as a fountain of blessing. Regardless of the circumstances, I can choose to rejoice in the wife of my youth.

Husbands, remember when you first laid eyes on your wife- how beautiful she was? It started with us, and so it continues. Happy wives have husbands who keep seeing them as beautiful. And one tangible way to communicate that is to make Wednesday a phenomenal day. It doesn’t have to be a dozen roses. One works just as well. And if roses don’t work for you, find out what does. Vary it from week to week. Believe me, it’s a simple gesture with magical results.

And for those of you who aren’t married, keep this as an example for when you are. And in the meantime, do something thoughtful and extraordinary fro someone you love. Don’t be afraid to be extravagant. After all, you never know when will be your last opportunity to bring roses on Wednesday. Follow Horton’s example and you will already be living like you had thirty days to live, because you will be demonstrating your love on a regular basis.

Love In Any Language

Love In Any Language
Week 3; Day2 Tuesday

“Je t’aime.”

“Ich liebe dich.”

“Ti amo.”

“Mimi nakupenda.”

“Techihhila.”

“Nanun tongshinun sarang hamnida.”

Recognize any of these? They are all the same thing in French, German, Italian, Swahili, Sioux, and Korean. They are the most important words you would want to speak if you were going to speak sweeter and you only had thirty days to do it. They are the words “I love you” – the most important words in any language, and yet sometimes, the hardest to say.

In our family, when we say our goodbyes over the phone to each other we always say, “I love you.” It’s standard procedure and sometimes feels a little dorky (especially to my kids when they are around their friends) but if you knew your condition was terminal you would not want to shortchange anyone from even one expression of love.

I just spoke today with a friend recovering from open-heart surgery. I wouldn’t call him a really close friend necessarily, but at the end of the conversation I had the strongest urge to tell him I loved him. Now I wouldn’t normally do that at this stage in a relationship, but it was his physical fragility and proximity to death that brought it out. I’m pretty sure I was saying: “Hey, I’m just starting to really like you, and I almost lost you. We’re going to spend eternity together, but not so darn fast!” I’m not sure I completely know why, but when life is precious, love is easier to express.

Romans 12:9-10 (NLT) says, “Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.”

Love is always a big part of any equation in the Body of Christ. Here Paul challenges us to love with genuine affection. And I believe we are speaking here of love both lived out and spoken.

Some may be quick to point out that love only spoken falls short of love acted out, but neither one of these should be taken at the expense of the other. We all need verbal reaffirmation of love. You can’t just know you are loved. You can’t run year after year with the unspoken assumption that someone loves you. We need to hear it. We hear it from the Word of God over and over and we can never get enough. We need to hear it from each other as well.

A good idea would be to say, “I love you,” when it’s not expected. Our family habit of saying “I love you” when we hang up the phone is fine, but an “I love you” in the middle of the day or in the middle of a sentence shows that you are actually thinking about your love for someone. It’s not just a habit. It’s a real expression from the heart. God knows we all need that, in any language.

What Will Last

What Will Last
Week 3; Day 1 Monday

“There are three things that will endure- faith, hope, and love- and the greatest of these is love” (I Cor. 13:13 NLT).

When time is running out, the main things suddenly become the main things. The unnecessary falls away. If you knew you were looking forward to eternity with God, you would want to spend your last days focusing on that which would translate from this life to the next. When you think of it, the things that last make up a pretty short list.

When asked to name the greatest commandment in the law, Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it. “Love your neighbor as yourself. All the law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matt 22:37-40).

What an amazing revelation. There are two things, and only two, we experience now that will carry on into eternity: our relationship with God, and our relationships with one another- and love is the driving force that holds them together. That is all. Love, as the Bible defines it, is truly the greatest thing in the world. Love is of God, and God is love. You can’t get any closer to the heart of God.

I Corinthians 13 defines love for us, and since love is the greatest thing in the world, we should be all over this. Let’s take a look.

“Love is patient and kind.” Patience gives people time to change. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. When I am impatient with my children, it’s because I am thinking of myself first. I have my own agenda they are messing up. This is why kindness is right on the heels of patience: it takes kindness to not act out of your own impatience. By being kind, I am appreciating the value of those around me, and taking their good into consideration.

“Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.” All of these ugly things spring from the self. Love does not take its own needs into account, mainly because it has no needs; it is all about giving. Love extends outward toward others, never inward toward self, because it is entirely unselfconscious. It does not “demand its own way.”

“Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.” This is not allowing others to walk all over you, it is merely saying, “Yes, you wronged me-yes, that hurt- but I am choosing not to hold that against you. In fact, if you bring it up again, I will not know what you are talking about.”

“Love is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love is impartial and seeks what is right and just for everyone. Love knows what is right, and does it, even if there is a price to be paid for speaking the truth. And why not, when you’re living like you had thirty days to live anyway?

Finally, “love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance . . .” even the ultimate circumstance of death itself. Forget the Energizer bunny, love just keeps going.